Pears for pears - we are uniquely and wonderfully different.
Aside building executive and organizational value, most of my work this month has been tackling interpersonal conflict at work. Not as exhausting as it sounds but actually an easy opportunity when self awareness drives a deeper understanding of our humanness and perspective kicks in to reframe the situation.
Inspired by this novel symptom , I gathered a bit more data and found a surprising
82% reported that relationship issues at work, are a primary source of stress
Of these, 51% pinpointed relational conflicts as a key contributor. This research, which explores the link between DISC and communication, reveals how crucial coaching is in helping leaders navigate these challenges. Many of the leaders I coach, leverage the session to find strategies that manage their stress and the conflict—whether that meant handling a difficult, demanding supervisor, rebuilding lost trust, or navigating tough conversations. Approaching conflict productively using DISC (to read and anticipate behaviors and needs) allows a better understanding of our own typical behaviors in conflict and why we do that, as well as those of your colleagues. That clarity really strengthens workplace relationships, collaboration and in turn results together.
The magic sits in reframing the situation, perceiver and object and hone in on these three areas:
Identify the root causes of negative reactions to conflict and discover ways to transform them into constructive and valuable responses.
Appreciate the unique personalities of your team and coworkers to create and leverage healthy conflict to operational and strategic challenges.
Gain practical strategies to foster more positive and productive conflict in your workspace and place to anticate and embed it into your culture and playbook.
One executive shared how their egotistical and interruptive supervisor created such a toxic environment that it affected their sleep and work performance.
"She didn’t trust me, and our exchanges were toxic."
Similarly, a vice president of sales described their conflict as "out of hand" and "highly contentious." These are not isolated experiences—relational conflict is widespread among leaders and creates significant stress detracting for growth and value creation.
In my coaching work, I employ three powerful techniques to empower my leaders to choose a different reaction and approach and break the cycle.
Stay calm and neutral - When an executive is grappling with relational conflict, it’s essential to maintain a calm presence. My research shows that 60% of executives found that my ability to listen well and remain composed helped them manage stress, process emotions, and uncover deeper issues.
Prepare and role-play - Practicing communication strategies and role-playing responses to various scenarios boosts confidence and performance under stress. One executive, whose manager constantly interrupted them, found role-playing particularly helpful in crafting assertive yet professional responses. We coach postural power positions and breathing exercises to manage the anxiety before meetings and reclaim the power of body language to influence and inspire.
Focus on the future - Conflict resolution is not a one-off conversation. It's an ongoing effort knowing who are and how we react and how we can remove the tension form the communication process. Its on going relationship building around understand what trust looks like to the team and coworkers. By asking, “What’s the next step in this conversation?” we adopt a long-term mindset, which is essential for achieving realistic outcomes, authentically.
Exec coaching to uncover the real story.
What unspoken signals do you send to your colleagues and team through the little things you do that could be misconstrued or misinterpreted? Executive coaching can help you to know. What are your opportunities to add value and create productive and positive conflict through candid feedback and realtime, real conversations. Email me if you would like to talk about how.
Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts and comments, M
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My small solo shop succeeds based on referrals. Do you know someone who might benefit from my approaches? If so, please kindly forward this email, pass my name along, or simply let me know. Thank you.
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