Emotional Intelligence & Psycholog

Insights

Twenty-five years of working across guest-oriented operations of every kind: luxury hospitality, spa and wellness, restaurants, resorts, and service environments worldwide alongside a career grounded in behavioral psychology, change leadership, and applied research means these blogs come from a real operational place with an aspiration and appetite for CHANGE!

You will find client stories, academic insights, practical frameworks, and the kind of honest thinking that challenges assumptions and opens up new possibilities.

From why your best therapists aren't recommending, to what fast-growing properties are doing differently, to the psychology of confidence, culture, and change every piece is written to provoke thought and prompt action.

Read what resonates, share what lands, and when you are ready to see what becomes possible for your team — Book a call and let's start the conversation.

"There's no greater success than lifting others toward their goals."

Running Out of Time Is Not an Accident: The Psychology Behind Retail & Recommending Zeros

Highlights & Take-aways from June 2, 2026 -SoCal Spa Wellness Collective Webinar, Elevate & Educate. As you know, I've done a fair number of webinars. The conversation I had with Lynne Hite & Gina Jacoby-Clements , founders of SoCal Spa Wellness Collective's Elevate and Educate session was a little different. In all the right ways. Not because it was comfortable. Because it wasn't. Lynne asked the questions we ask themselves at 11pm — the ones that don't have a tidy slide

michela henke cilenti

Jun 146 min read

Elated guests who have been recommended to and are enjoying a spa day

The Upselling Culture Shift: What Fast-Growing Properties Are Doing Differently

Living at the professional crossroads of purpose and revenue: as you would expect I've been honing in lately on what the some of the most impactful companies are measuring when it comes to customer relationships. And honestly? It makes me double down and underscore the importance of continuing to rethinking how we approach recommending in hospitality, F&B and wellness. What's caught my attention: companies and clients—the ones experiencing decent growth, in flat times—

michela henke cilenti

Feb 128 min read

Unlocking the Power of Recommendations: Preparing Your Team for Q1 Success

As the year winds down and the holiday season approaches, many teams in spa properties, wellness businesses, hospitality, and coaching are reflecting on what’s working—and what’s not—when it comes to making recommendations. Your team knows the products and services well. They have the training and the skills. Yet, recommendations don’t happen as naturally as they should. Why is that?

michela henke cilenti

Dec 17, 20254 min read

emotional intelligence all heart and mind

US Consumer Sentiment Remains Cautious: Moving into the Holidays and Season- Why Your Team's Emotional Intelligence Matters

If you're a spa director or hospitality leader wondering why your team's recommendation rates and revenues have plateaued, you're not alone. Let's talk. The answer isn't changing job descriptions to recommend or higher incentives. It's supporting your team to hyper-individualize service, engaging deeper with guests and clients to grow perceived value in light of the cautious consumer sentiment and psychology that's happening right now.

michela henke cilenti

Sep 18, 20254 min read

struggling to prioritize and overwhelmed at work

3 Great Ways to Improve Resilience and Get Work Life Balance Back

Across my client base, leaders are navigating the pressure to lead meaningful transformation in response to today’s shifting economic and political landscape. I partner with them to cultivate the emotional intelligence, strategic clarity, and resilience needed to guide their organizations through change with confidence and integrity. If you're facing similar challenges, I'm here to help.

michela henke cilenti

Apr 7, 202512 min read

many meaningful solutions to choose from

"Creating Guest Value Through Retail Recommendations and Homecare"

Are your team able to connect the dots between need and solution for their guest/client? Are they able to recommend using their best advice to build value with intelligent, individualized solutions that contribute to the fabulousness of their client experience?

michela henke cilenti

Oct 17, 20244 min read

Turning Tension into Triumph: How Productive Conflict Fuels Leadership Growth

Pears for pears - we are uniquely and wonderfully different. Aside building executive and organizational value, most of my work this month has been tackling interpersonal conflict at work. Not as exhausting as it sounds but actually an easy opportunity when self awareness drives a deeper understanding of our humanness and perspective kicks in to reframe the situation and activate leadership growth. Inspired by this novel symptom , I gathered a bit more data and found a sur

michela henke cilenti

Sep 4, 20243 min read

Lady tired of feeling everyones problems

Effective Strategies to Tackle Empathy Fatigue

I have one of the best jobs I know. I quietly support teams and leaders working in hospitality and service to use more of their strengths and skills to continue to be brilliant engaging with their guests. I really don't think that I give anyone actual permission to be brilliant or inherently teach them anything that they don't already know- But what I do do is develop, celebrate and refocus each service provider, server, front desk agent, leader, retail store assistant to

michela henke cilenti

Nov 15, 20234 min read

The Great Attraction & Engagement- Inspiring The Team

Another month of record on the job quitting and job openings at sky high levels, irregardless of whether we compare it to before, the middle or after the pandemic. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, their departures have left a huge hole in the labor market. The number of current job openings (10.9 million) exceeds the number of new hires (6.3 million). The situation is very real and very felt by many of our operational heroes, leaders, managers and team who ma

michela henke cilenti

Apr 20, 20227 min read

"What Makes You a Leader?" STL Leaders Podcast Hosted by Bryan Buesking Episode #83

New year, new leaf! The beginning of 2022 was sumptuously marked with the recording of Bryan Buesking's STL Leaders Podcast. It was the first podcast interview since the publication of Ready for Anything: The Making of a Change Leader in late 2021. It was a true honor to speak on a topic that keeps circling round, since the pandemic and the challenging operating climate we haven't had the liberty of getting accustomed to - How to lead in turbulent times.

michela henke cilenti

Mar 28, 20222 min read

Ingredients to Boost Resilience Succeeding in Uncertain Times

This week in dedication to mental health awareness, I spoke about the challenging and contradictory nature of resilience. It's important. From recent observations and client conversations I am boldly deducting that our commonly held understanding of resilience is actually preventing the creation of our own natural resilience in uncertain times. This blog shares my findings and looks at how we can reframe our experiences to not just survive but thrive . The Issue is Thi

michela henke cilenti

Jun 6, 20213 min read

Forces of Chaos and Complexity: Embracing Uncertainty

Introduction In this second edition of Ready for Anything , our intention is to challenge and provoke both professionals and students to think differently about their experience as change leaders. We want to call into question their cherished assumptions about people and change and suggest new opportunities for making change. Since 2016, when the first edition was written, the role of change agent has become more complex. We reflect these changes both in our essays and in our

michela henke cilenti

May 5, 20213 min read

Deep Dive - Different Cultural Responses to the Pandemic

I am about to make my annual pilgrimage across the pond, leaving the good ol' US of A for a few months to find, truly long lost friends and family, I haven't seen since the onset of the pandemic. Being British and Italian and married to a German, we are spread around the globe. Great pre-pandemic, not been so great the past 15 mont

michela henke cilenti

Apr 27, 20212 min read

Owning & Adding Value to Your Clients' Relationship with You

This article takes a deeper dive into connecting with customers. Historically, customer relationship management (CRM) was used to increase the profitability of businesses through the active management of long-term customer relationships.

michela henke cilenti

Sep 21, 20204 min read

Getting Dominant Guests & Clients to Wear Masks

I had COVID and I am ALL about the mask. Apart from having travelled through an airport in March, which I felt increased my risk of exposure- I had no idea I had it. I am so lucky and grateful as all I had was a sore throat for a few hours. No fever or fatigue. Nada.

michela henke cilenti

Jun 17, 20203 min read